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Kroger Marketplace: A Little Piece of Heaven
by Liza in

We moved into our new home last weekend and I have been checking out the local grocery stores. We've got a Kroger on the left and a Publix on the right. The Publix has a special side road that leads us right to it, while to get to the Kroger, you have to wait an awfully long time to try to turn left - it's enough time to get mad enough to curse at at least 13 people in their cars. For these reasons, I figured Publix would be my main choice.

Enter: Kroger Marketplace

I was driving home one day last week and knew we needed a few groceries. Since the Kroger was on the way home BEFORE the turn off to our street, I figured I'd stop there. When I walked in, I'm pretty sure angels sang. Either that or the KM had a small children's choir in the back, which wouldn't surprise me. Yes. That's how great it is. It's massive. There are two rows of aisles with all. kinds. of. stuff. I love stuff. I don't OWN a ton of "stuff," but it's nice to sit there and peruse and imagine all these things in my home.

I took the long way to get the asparagus. Well, I didn't really KNOW the short way being that I'd never been in there before. I grabbed a few groceries, all the while looking up at each aisle sign mentally noting the things I'd like to visit on my next KM vacation. Finally a nice Kroger employee startled me out of my FURNITURE EXPLORATION TRANCE (because the KM carries furniture) asking me if I needed anything, when I snapped to and said, "Oh, yes, can you tell me where to find pie crusts? I know, I'm not in the right area at all."

After locating said crusts, I came across the bakery section. The Husband had a great day at work so I figured I'd get a little cake or something as a congrats. While I'm in there, I start to notice various black stands that have containers at the top, each housing some delectable treat. Most were bread pieces, but the one nearest me had...yes...SNICKERDOODLES. I started to get excited. I saw a lady behind the counter who's excitement level seemed to be the polar opposite of mine and decreased in proportion as mine went up, but I had to ask.

ME: Excuse me?

Happy Lady: (grunt)

ME: (pointing to said snickerdoodles) Um...are these for sale or for tasting?

Happy Lady: Our kiddie cookies?

OOOOHHHHH. So they were for KIDS who were either being very good or a pain in the ass. And she clearly wanted me to be aware of this. Well, this lady doesn't KNOW ME and MY COOKIE LOVE HABIT and that I didn't give a DAMN if they were for starving Somalian children, if it was at all possible for me to have a cookie I. WOULD. HAVE. A. COOKIE.

ME: Uh, yeah, I guess.

Happy Lady: Yeah, those are samples.

ME: (so excited) So, I can have one?

Happy Lady: Yup.

ME: Oh! You just made my day!

Happy Lady: (grunts as she goes back to work)

So, I had my snickerdoodle, which, in all honesty, wasn't the BEST I've ever had, but seriously I'm not going to complain because I was walking through the best grocery store ever eating a cookie. Awesome.

I grab a few more things and decide to head over to the pharmacy for some pre-natal vitamins. (Not preggers yet, but the gyno said to get on the vities now.) So, I start the 3 mile hike to the pharmacy section. As I'm headed over there, I'm finishing up the last of my snickerdoodle. But, no fear! Because out of nowhere pops the Starbucks fairy (yes, there is a Starbucks in the KM) with, YES, mini frappuccinos with a mound of whipped cream on the top. And she has a tray of them and she asks me if I want one and I'm all, "Lady, you REALLY don't need to ask," but I just say, "Oh yes. Thank you!" And it's delicious. And I grab a pharmacy lady, sip on my frappuccino and we look for a good pre-natal together. I feel wonderful. (I know, my verb tense is all over the board here. Leave me alone.)

And then I go into the HOME DECOR section. That's right. The KM has home decor. I walked up and down every decor aisle. It was too fun. And I bought a candle. And it's just great.

My new bumper sticker will say (and I'm sure KM can make this for me): I Heart KM.


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