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My Growing Bottom
by Liza in

Yes, my bottom is growing.  And not just my butt.  My thighs, too.  I bought maternity jeans a while ago that were too big.  And then they fit really well.  And now...they're a little too tight.  It's very frustrating.  In my daily email from What to Expect the subject line was "Weight Worries," and I was all, "Oh, God, yes.  That's me."  And I opened it up to see that I should be repeating a mantra: I am not fat, I am growing a baby.  I am not fat, I am growing a baby.... Very nice of them to share this.  And I get it.  And I do like the mantra.  But, when you've spent good money on maternity jeans, it's REALLY HARD to consider going BACK to the maternity store to get BIGGER MATERNITY jeans.  Seriously. 

No, I'm not going to diet.  But it's not like the thought doesn't cross my mind.  Although, I don't think I could even if I wanted to.  Dieting is lame.  What I need is a FOOD LIFESTYLE ADJUSTMENT.  A FLA, if you will.  Which kind of just looks like an abbreviation for Florida and makes me think of the sun and the beach, which makes me think of BATHING SUITS and how not good I would look in one right now.

I need to eat leaner meats, more salads and not so many carbs.  And I'm sure those Girl Scout cookies aren't helping.  I just laid out the basic "yes, I NKOW" of anyone gaining weight or already over weight.  Lovely.  But, you know what?  I'm not a big fan of chicken.  And salads, as a meal, don't really do it for me.  Maybe I should just believe my husband when he lovingly tells me I'm beautiful and go back to the mantra...I am not fat, I am growing a baby.

But my butt is fat.

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